When I began writing my book, Mom, Can I Help Around the House? I consulted the expertise of many highly regarded child experts. One of my favorites is John Rosemond. Several years ago, I was fortunate to have had the opportunity to attend a presentation of his at my church and found his traditional philosophies about raising children to be identical to my own. I have read several of his books as well. This week I happened upon an article by John Rosemond that I had to include on my blog.  His no-nonsense approach just tells it like it is, and I believe today’s parents need reminders like this to bring them back to reality of what our role is of a parent. This is what my book and chore system is all about, but I could never say it as eloquently as John Rosemond has in the following article.

Teach children the skills they need to be independent

The purpose of raising a child is to get him or her out of your life and into a life of his/her own. 

1. Put yourself at the center of your child’s attention, not the other way around.It is a simple matter to discipline a child who is paying attention to you and nigh-unto impossible to discipline a child who is not.

   In that regard, always keep in mind that the more attention you pay a child, the less attention the child will pay to you. 

    

    

    

2. Put your child into a meaningful role in your family, one that is defined in terms of responsibilities known as chores (remember them?). 

   By the time your child is 4 years old, he should be contributing significant time and effort on a daily basis to the maintenance of the household.Your child’s chores should not be assigned haphazardly, but should be established as a routine.

   In addition to picking up after himself and keeping his own living space clean and orderly, he should be working in “common areas” of the home, doing such things as dusting and vacuuming.

   You do tell people that your child is gifted, do you not?

   Without chores, a child is a mere consumer, on a perpetual entitlement program, and entitlements do not strengthen people or culture. Grow a strong child.

    

    

    

3. Keep television and other electronic media out of your child’s life until your child has learned to read well and is self-entertaining.The research is clear that electronic media shortens attention span, interferes with the development of certain critical thinking skills and develops a dependency that leads to frequent complaints of boredom.

   Remember that an average of just two hours of “screen time” a day means your child is absorbing electronic stimulation to the tune of 730 hours a year. That’s the equivalent of eighteen 40-hour work weeks.

   Think of the creativity that’s being lost. Grow a child with a strong brain.

    

    

    

4. From day one, keep clutter out of your child’s life by keeping toys and other “stuff” at a minimum.

Paradoxically, children who entertain themselves well (low-maintenance children) tend to have few toys.

These children are also more grateful for and take better care of what they have. Grow an imaginative, creative child.

 5. Emphasize manners, not skills.

Sixty years ago, most children came to overcrowded first grades not knowing their ABCs, yet at the end of the year were reading at a higher level than today’s kids, most of whom are already reading in kindergarten.

That happened because parents of 60 years ago taught proper behavior, not skills; therefore, teachers taught skills, not proper behavior. Grow a polite child.

6. Love your child enough to grow a happy child.

Family psychologist John Rosemond answers parents’ questions on his Web site at www.rosemond.com.

As I write this, my two kids are happily doing their chores. To receive the first chapter of my book Mom, Can I Help Around the House? F’ree, visit www.KidsandChores.net.

For most parents, trying to go out for a night without the children can be a daunting task. There are many issues that you have to remember to tell any babysitter that when it comes to taking care of those that you hold dear. These issues are typically the same each time, so why recreate the wheel each time and rely on your frazzled brain to remember all the details. Make the task of updating your babysitter on everything that she needs to know easy and painless.

Most parents tell their babysitter as they stand by the door to head out, anything and everything that they can remember that she may need to know to take care of the children. By doing it this way, there are always going to be things that are left out of the list. Another problem is that the babysitter is never going to remember everything. The “DON’T KILL THE KIDS” list was created for this reason. This list has prompts that will make it easy for your babysitter to take care of your children.

Babysitters do not only have to worry about the children when it comes to taking care of your house. There are the pets to think about. Often times there will be things that the babysitter will have to do to take care of your precious animals. Make it easy on yourself when it comes to communicating this information. Use the “DON’T KILL THE PETS” list to make sure that you remember to give out every vital piece of information concerning your pets.

On-line resources for finding a babysitter or nanny in your area:

If you looking for a more organized and reliable way to find a babysitter, here are a couple of on-line resources for you to check out. I remember when sites like this first appeared on the web. Trust was an issue back in the early days of on-line resources. Today, these sites provide a wealth of information so you can research available babysitting and nanny candidates from the comfort of your own home. Features of these sites often consist of feedback ratings, references, tips and forums where moms can share their experiences.

SitterCity - Sittercity is a matchmaking service only and does not charge any fees for using care providers found on the site. In addition to babysitters, users can find nannies, petsitters, housesitters, elder care providers, and tutors. Sittercity is America’s first and largest online babysitter network, and the leading babysitter website.  Visit: www.SitterCity.com

Nannies4Hire - Besides relationships with Dr. Phil, Supernanny and the Discovery Channel/TLC to name a few, Nannies4Hire is teaming up with corporations to help find childcare for their employees. There is an extensive Resource Center on their site to help you through this process. Visit: www.Nannies4Hire.com

What it comes to saving energy in your home, lighting is an easy place to start, according to Edison Electric Institute. You may wonder what lighting has to do with achieving a simplified home. Quite a bit actually. Simplifying your home environment and life includes more than organizing your stuff and everything you own having a home. Simplifying life includes designing your environment for greater productivity, and lighting contributes greatly to how you feel and work in your space. It also means using your resources efficiently, which is what I’m referring to in the following 6 ways to save.

These bright ideas may help you become more energy efficient.

1. Dust light bulbs and fixtures regularly.
2. Provide task lighting over desks, tool benches and the like so you don’t have to light the whole room.
3. Put lamps in corners of rooms so the light reflects off two walls
4. For lamps left on more than two hours a day, use compact fluorescent bulbs, which use up to 66 percent less electricity than incandescent bulbs. A 23-watt compact fluorescent bulb can replace a 100-watt incandescent.
5. Use dimmable incandescent bulbs wherever possible.
6. Install photoelectic controls or timers to turn outdoor lighting off and on each day.

To learn more about how to save money and protect the environment, visit www.getenergyactive.org.

Having trouble finding your desk amidst the clutter? Follow these easy steps, consistently, and you’ll experience greater focus and productivity as a result.

1. Define the purpose of each space in your office and be sure that everyone who shares the space understands how it is to be used.

2. Keep only high-use items on your desktop - computer, telephone, project files, good lighting, notepaper, stapler, To Do list, calendar/planner, and only what you are working on right now.

3. Use vertical space around your desk effectively - put photos and calendars on your wall, not on your desktop.

4. Organize supplies in a desk drawer organizer or supply drawer within “fingertip reach” of your desk chair.

5. Place a wastebasket, recycling bin, and/or shredder where you process your mail.

6. Trim the F.A.T. - File, Act, Toss. Professional Organizer, Barbara Hemphill tells us that the only choices we have for dealing with paper is to File it, Act on it, or Toss it.

7. Create zones in your workspace for incoming and outgoing paper, filing and a work surface. Resist co-mingling each zone.

8. Create an Action File System and place all “action required” items in the system. The Action File System works in-conjunction with your calendar. Simplified Spaces can help you implement this system in your office or home. CLICK HERE to learn more about our system.

9. File non-action required papers in an accessible “reference file system” CLICK HERE to learn more about the HomeFile System, a great reference file system we recommend.

10. Schedule office clean-up/organizing on your calendar, or you will always lean toward a competing priority. Face it … most of us would prefer to do about anything else than to spend a day organizing their office or home.

Being clear about what activities you want to perform in your workspace and where, having clear surfaces in which to work, and the tools you need to perform those activities in easy access, will significantly improve what you’re able to accomplish in a day. In the process, you’ll reduce your stress level and free up time and energy for what matters most. This is a preview from our upcoming booklet “The Simplified Office - A Complete Guide to Clear Office Clutter for Good!

Here are some eye-opening facts as we approach the busiest buying season of the year.

• The average American wastes 55-minutes per day (roughly 12 weeks per year) looking for misplaced belongings.
• 75% of Americans visit malls each week. On average, Americans shop six hours a week.
• Today, many new homes are built with three-car garages the size of an entire house in the 1950s.
• We receive as much mail in a week as our parents received in a month and as much mail in a month as our grandparents received in a lifetime.” (source: USPS)

The Day After Thanksgiving is BUY NOTHING DAY! How will you observe it?

This internationally-recognized holiday is an opportunity to challenge yourself, your family, and your friends to take a day off from shopping. Recent statistics reveal that Americans spend 6 hours per week shopping. Instead of hitting the malls, spend some time – rather than money – doing things that bring you joy and fulfillment. Here are a few tips to get you started:

FOCUS ENERGY ELSEWHERE
Does your “To Do” list have you constantly running, buying, doing, and getting? Try simplifying your life by slowing down to appreciate the good around you. When do you find yourself smiling or happy? Pursue those activities that energize and revitalize you. Starting today, make a few conscious choices to spend your time and energy differently.

AVOID TEMPTATION
Do you find yourself running to multiple stores each week to get all those great sale items? Make a decision to try a few weeks without reading the Sunday sale ads. Make a running list of the items that you absolutely cannot live without, pledge to purchase only items that are on that list. You’ll be amazed at the time and money you save!

BE AWARE OF CLUTTER’S CURSE
When you spend money, you’re bound to accumulate clutter. Clutter takes up time, space, energy, and/or money without providing any tangible benefit. Consider the time and effort it takes to care for your belongings. Could you think of better ways to spend your time?

LOOK DEEPER
Before you buy, think about what’s truly important to you. What brings you joy, satisfaction, and fulfillment? Try to look beyond the initial “thrill of the purchase” and see what provides deeper moments of meaning. 

Anything less than a conscious commitment to the important is an unconscious commitment to the unimportant.

~ Stephen R. Covey, Ph.D.

During the hustle and bustle of this hectic time of year, women often feel responsible for making the holidays perfect. This can leave you feeling overwhelmed and pressed for time, stressed out and exhausted.

Still, it’s possible to recapture the meaning of the holiday season and make it truly enjoyable for you and your family. Try these survival strategies and you too can rejoice in a stress-free and meaningful holiday season.

Set Realistic Priorities in Line with Your Family’s Values – the pursuit of the perfect holiday gathering can leave you feeling let down if your celebration doesn’t live up to your expectations. I recall a client, a busy mom of three children, who insisted on continuing a long-time tradition of putting up and decorating three Christmas trees each year in her moderately-sized home. I suggested that we ask her family if it was essential to them to have three Christmas trees in their home in order to enjoy their holiday. They unanimously shared that three Christmas trees was their mom’s idea, and that it was much more important to them to enjoy time with their parents than the number of Christmas trees they put up. This is an excellent example of how important it is to keep your goals and expectations realistic.

Don’t Procrastinate – last-minute shopping may save you some money, but the headaches, extra time and stress you’ll experience from fighting the crowds aren’t worth it. The holidays are no time for procrastination! Make lists and accomplish your goals by a certain date so you can relax and truly enjoy the holidays.

Adopt a K.I.S.S. Attitude (Keep It Simple Sweetie) – Meals don’t have to be elaborate to be wonderful. After several years of trying, I finally convinced my mother that we didn’t need fine china and polished silver to have a wonderful holiday together. After she stopped this elaborate tradition, we had more stress-free quality time with her, which was much more important than eating on (and hand-washing) fine china. Suggest that your guests lend a hand and bring a side dish to the festivities. When shipping, choose simple, thoughtful gifts rather than lavish expensive ones.

Keep Greeting Cards & Gifts Organized - Throughout the holiday season, we are purchasing and stockpiling gifts and greeting cards in preparation to give them.  How many times have you purchased a greeting card or gift in advance, then when it’s time to give it, you can’t find it? I often set up a gift and greeting card center for my clients.  Our Greeting Card Organizer can serve as a home for all your greeting cards during the holidays and throughout the year.

Have a Plan … But Go With the Flow – Holiday traditions evolve over the years. While you may be disappointed if you can’t quite re-enact the exact celebration of yore, learn to go with the flow so you can find happiness in creating new memories with your family.

Stay Healthy – You can’t truly appreciate the holidays if you’re exhausted and worn down with too much food, drink and too little sleep. Be mindful of your physical and mental wellbeing during this hectic time.

Take a Break and BREATHE – Try not to spread yourself too thin. Setting boundaries and learning to say no is never a more important skill to exercise than during the holidays. Remember the true meaning of the season and only attend the holiday activities and family gatherings that you enjoy and set aside some time for yourself each day. You should be as good to yourself as you are to others.

When I worked in the corporate world as a business analyst it wasn’t a stretch for me to think in systems.  In an office environment processes and procedures are established to create order and and establish habits.  Often office systems are documented in a Procedure Manual for all to follow.  We are also accustomed to having the supplies needed in our work space in order for us to perform our job and to follow the company’s systems. 

When I became a Professional Organizer in 2003, it occurred to me that we can transfer this same ’systems theory’ to managing our home. You manage your home in systems as well.

So what do I mean by a a home management system?  It is a set of procedures and processes, or a routine/habit that is put in place in your home to manage five key variables:

·   Space

·   Your stuff

·   Information flow

·   Your time

·   Relationships - with those for whom you share your space 

Develop systems to manage these variables and you have designed solutions to calm the chaos of your daily life. A system can be as simple as a labeled folder to a specific organizing product designed to hold all your personal information, like those available in our e-store The Simplified Home.  The important thing is that you establish a consistent routine or process for yourself and your family for the repetitive tasks you perform regularly. These routines/processes done consistently become habits.  One of my favorite quotes, by Ben Franklin, is …

 “To change a habit begin immediately and let no single exception to occur.”

Consistency is the key to establishing a habit.  

When I work personally with clients, I assess the systems they have in place and those that are missing. So what systems should you consider to simplify your home?  Here’s a list of home organization systems I suggest that my  clients consider.  

• System for keeping track of your daily schedule

• System for processing incoming mail – from the mailbox and from children’s bookbags

• System (or consistent home) for finding car keys, purse/wallet, cel-phone, laptop, etc.

• System for paying bills on time

• System for teaching and delegating household chores within the family

• System for food shopping (grocery list and organizing coupons)

• System for keeping track of daily and weekly To Dos (actions)

• System for regular decluttering / weeding

• System for tracking birthdays, anniversaries

• System for the home laundry process

• System (routine) for getting out of the house on time for work, appointments, meetings

• System for staying focused and productive (i.e., timer, alarm)

• System for processing children’s school papers

• System for keeping track of home information (warranties, operations manuals, room dimensions, carpet samples, etc.)

• System for family communication

• System for merchandise returns, errand-running

• System for weeding out no longer needed clothing

• System for filing and retrieving vital family records

I call this a ‘Home Systems Checklist’ and I give this checklist to new clients so they can evaluate and analyze their own household. 

So how about you? I invite you to use this list to do the same in your home. Also think about the supplies you need to establish these systems.

You too can get organized by thinking in systems.  I’d love to hear your feedback - please leave a comment about home systems that have worked well for you and if you can think of a system that I didn’t include. Also, if you’d like to hear more detail about any of these systems, leave a comment about your greatest challenge and I’ll do a future post about specific systems you want to learn more about.

I also invite you to visit The Simplified Home for many ready-made home organization systems and solutions so you don’t have to reinvent the wheel.

In the past 20 years, childhood obesity has tripled in teenagers and doubled in younger children. While these statistics may be alarming and cause for concern for parents, they also don’t have to be a permanent reality. Incorporating household chores into a child’s daily routine has many benefits, two of which are contributing to your child’s overall health and to your child’s sense of self-sufficiency and confidence. Unfortunately, however, it was recently reported in the Wall Street Journal that the amount of time children spend doing chores has declined 12% since 1997 and 25% since 1981.

The fact is that children’s lives are much different than they were even a decade ago. Today’s children spend on average four hours per day watching TV, that was foreign to children a generation ago. Did you know that children who spend more than two hours per day in front of a screen (TV or computer) are more likely to have an unhealthy diet and are less likely to participate in physical activity? When you factor in homework time, hygiene and meals, there’s no time left for children to participate in beneficial activities like physical activity, time spent with family or in positive contributions to the good of the family.

With the rise in suburban sprawl and city living, children no longer benefit from physical activity when the space required to engage in the activities doesn’t exist. Sprawling metropolises and the conveniences within them make it harder for children to remain active in or around their homes. The simple acts of walking to school, riding a bike, or building a fort, once common activities for children, don’t factor into the modern child’s life. The absence of these activities contribute to the problem of childhood obesity, especially when one considers that it was once common for children to spend all day playing outside and contributing to the maintenance of the family property.

Children who choose to spend their extra few minutes of recreational time watching television and playing video games are at greater risk for developing a weight problem, since the minutes add up and eventually turn into hours toward a sedentary lifestyle.

Given the lifestyle changes of US children, parents must take steps to add opportunities for activity into their children’s daily lives. Simple steps can be taken to prevent and combat childhood obesity. Like many other things, it starts from within the home. In addition to changing children’s eating habits and attitudes towards physical activity, parents should incorporate vigorous exercise into their children’s daily lives in the form of chores. The benefits of requiring children to do chores doesn’t end with a clean house or even a newfound sense of responsibility – chores can also improve children’s health by keeping them fit, lean and less susceptible to medical complications associated with childhood obesity, including childhood diabetes and pre-diabetes, heart disease, sleep apnea, bone disorders, gastro-intestinal diseases, high cholesterol, hyperlipidemia, premature puberty and psychological problems. Keeping active by participating in household chores during childhood can also reduce a child’s risk of becoming an overweight adult and worsening pre-existing conditions.

It’s clear that scheduling household chores as part of a child’s regular routine is not only an investment in an orderly home and a well-adjusted child, but also an investment in a healthy body that can serve them well into adulthood and beyond. Children deserve every bit of a head start that parents can afford them. Contributing to a healthy lifestyle by requiring chore work is only one of the many ways that parents can condition their children, both mentally and physically, in preparation to live full, adult lives.

What age do you think that kids should start contributing to household chores?
Kids of all ages can and should be taught by their parents the value of organizing and cleaning up after themselves. If parents teach them in an age-appropriate, structured way, it’s a value that will stick with them throughout their lives and help them to be successful.

Parents can teach their kids by establishing regular routines for other things, like bedtimes, meals and chores. Kids will soon learn what is expected of them and it won’t seem like work to them. If you have multiple kids, you can even assign tasks according to their ages. In my home, we use the “Mom Can I Help Around the House” chore system. The idea is really simple. Each of my kids has a personalized chore binder assigned to them. Each chore is clearly written so they understand what they need to do. They are expected to complete their chores between Friday after school through Sunday at noon. Each of my kids learns to manage their time, set goals, experiences the satisfaction of accomplishing a task and is praised for their efforts. All without my having to “nag” them!

Here are some chores your children can do for their specific age group:

Kids under 6 should be able to these chores:

• Pick up their toys.
• Hang up coats and put shoes away.
• Set the dinner table.

Kids over 6 can (and should) help with:

• Help with laundry
• Clear used dinner items after meals and help with washing dishes.
• Help with caring for pets.

As your children grow, add responsibilities to your children(s)’ chore folder that include more steps and instructions. Be sure to praise them along the way and give them every opportunity to succeed. Keep in mind that you’re not doing them any favors if you follow behind your children and correct their work. In the real world, this won’t be done for them. Give them real world exposure by providing feedback and have them correct less than acceptable work. This teaches them, above all else, a sense of responsibility and accomplishment for a job well done. You will be able to maintain a cleaner home and your children will have learned valuable skills that will last a lifetime.