Chores and Contracts

An important part of implementing a household chore system is creating a formal agreement, commonly called a contract, for every member of the household. A contract defines the parent’s expectations and provides direction and parameters for the children. A contract can be a general form explaining household rules or a complex detailing of chore responsibilities for a specific person. For households with teenagers or even adults who shirk their responsibilities around the home, contracts can help pave the way to a new, orderly household in where everyone formally agrees to carry their own weight.

One main advantage of using contracts as part of a household chore system is that it reduces confusion about what needs to get done how, when, where and by whom. Contracts allow both the chore assigner and the chore assignee to agree on specifics. If chore processes are outlined in black and white, expectations are more likely to be understood and chores are more likely to be completed. For a household newly introduced to a formal routine of chores, contracts can be an invaluable tool for negotiating the maintenance of and organization the home.

Contract types aren’t limited in content. It should reflect the family’s personality and values. When devising your own, consider important areas that you’d like it to cover. Some common topics touched upon in contracts are listed below.

• Behavior. Outline acceptable and unacceptable behavior and attitudes towards chores. Provide guidelines for interaction with other household members also participating in the chore routine.

• Description of chores. Detail what specific chores are expected to be completed by each family member. Step-by-step descriptions reduce confusion and make the successful completion of each chore non-negotiable.

• Time line and dates. Define the time line that chores are to be complete. Also take the opportunity to insert clauses about periodic contract review times in which a signer can look forward to having their contract modified.

• Consequences and Rewards. Make signers accountable to their contract by reminding them what the consequences and rewards are for abiding by the contract or by breaking it. Define specific consequences and rewards, including punishments. Put figures into contracts if you’re working with allowances.

• Miscellaneous. Add anything else that you feel is important to include in the contract. Many parents think to add stipulations to the contract here. For example, they may say that rewards for completed chores are forfeited if homework is not completed, household rules aren’t respected or if the chore performer is disrespectful about completing the chore.

It’s inevitable that as a household evolves, its needs will change as well. Making an allowance for future contract modifications, on top of the agreed to review period, can keep all family members satisfied with its contents.

By developing contracts that parallel the needs of your family, its members perceive their agreements to keep a household functional to be binding. Don’t be surprised if you find a new, more committed attitude toward the upkeep of your home, from the entire family, when a formal agreement is in place.

Originally posted 2008-09-05 11:58:15. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Janet In the News – How to Get Kids to Help Around the House

Last Friday I received a call from Julie Marsh, a writer/reporter from a small city in northern California, who was writing an article for her Redding, CA paper about how to get kids to help around the house. I was excited to learn that she had found my blog and read about my book ‘Mom, Can I Help Around the House’ on-line and wanted to interview me for her article.

Even though we live on opposite ends of the US, and will likely never meet personally, as moms of two children of the same ages (12 & 9), we were like old friends in no time. We had a wonderful conversation about bringing our children up with Christian values, how we felt about our role and responsibility to our children to teach them to be self-sufficient, yet servants to their family, and later to be self-sufficient servants as adults in society. We also shared what life was like in our little corner of the world and some funny stories about how we each get our kids to help around the house. 

I thoroughly enjoyed sharing time on the phone with a fellow Christian mom.  Our conversation strengthened my belief and mission to continue in my role as my children’s first and most consistant teacher of home management and of life.  Thank you for that Julie ~ you did a great job on the article.

Here is a link to the article that appeared in the Redding, California newspaper on Feb. 9.

Julie’s Article – How to Get Kids to Help Around the House

I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments on how you see your role as your child’s first and most consistant teacher of life.

To learn more about my book and household chore system that she references, visit: http://www.KidsandChores.net or The Simplified Home.

Janet, The Organizing Genie

Originally posted 2009-02-10 20:05:52. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Children, Time and Chores

While there are no set rules on the amount of time a parent can expect his child to do chores, there are generally accepted guidelines about what chores a child can handle based on age and maturity and how long each chore should take.

However well-meaning a parent may be when assigning chores, many still find that they become frustrated when their child takes an inordinate amount of time to complete relatively simple chores. There could be a number of reasons why the child takes so much time to complete assigned chores, but one of the main reasons could simply be his inability to conceive of and manage time without guidelines and instruction.

It’s a familiar problem, especially with young children. Many just need time, maturity and modeling from adults to grasp the concept of time.

For parents who struggle with teaching their children to complete chores within a given timeframe, consider the following strategies:

• Give clear deadlines for completing chores. The guidelines my children have for completing their weekend chores is that they have from Friday after school until Sunday at noon to complete their chores. This method allows them to develop time management skills when planning their chores along with other plans we have over the weekend.

• Measure the time a given chore takes your child. As adults, it’s not fair for us to expect a young child to complete a chore to the same mastery we may be able to complete the same task. We all need time to learn, practice and master a new skill. A method to consider for determining the time it takes your child to complete a chore is to time him completing the chore on three separate occurrences. Add these three measurements and figure the average. Knowing the time that it takes your child to complete each task can help you set realistic, age-appropriate deadlines, that also help your children develop time management skills.

• Use a regular kitchen timer. Setting a kitchen timer to the time you expect a chore to be completed can save your child lots of time during the day that could be better spent devoted to other worthwhile endeavors, like homework or participating in recreational activities.

• Equip the child with a watch with an alarm. The advantage of using a watch with an alarm is that parents can set it to beep at a certain time every day to remind the children to start a new activity, like chores or homework. Watches are especially helpful when performing time-sensitive chores or those which tend to conveniently slip children’s minds.

• Make TV commercial breaks an ad-hoc clock. Today’s generation clearly identifies with television. Telling children that they need to have a chore completed “before the next commercial break” could help them understand 15 minute increments of time or more.

The amount of time allotted for a child to complete a chore should be determined after weighing many factors, including the child’s age, learning style and ability. As parents, we should provide many opportunities for our children to be successful while learning and mastering life skills. By providing clear expectations, needed training, and then monitoring their work, you provide your child with a secure foundation in which to learn and master home maintenance and time management skills.

Originally posted 2008-09-09 06:01:58. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Decrease Childhood Obesity With Household Chores

In the past 20 years, childhood obesity has tripled in teenagers and doubled in younger children. While these statistics may be alarming and cause for concern for parents, they also don’t have to be a permanent reality. Incorporating household chores into a child’s daily routine has many benefits, two of which are contributing to your child’s overall health and to your child’s sense of self-sufficiency and confidence. Unfortunately, however, it was recently reported in the Wall Street Journal that the amount of time children spend doing chores has declined 12% since 1997 and 25% since 1981.

The fact is that children’s lives are much different than they were even a decade ago. Today’s children spend on average four hours per day watching TV, that was foreign to children a generation ago. Did you know that children who spend more than two hours per day in front of a screen (TV or computer) are more likely to have an unhealthy diet and are less likely to participate in physical activity? When you factor in homework time, hygiene and meals, there’s no time left for children to participate in beneficial activities like physical activity, time spent with family or in positive contributions to the good of the family.

With the rise in suburban sprawl and city living, children no longer benefit from physical activity when the space required to engage in the activities doesn’t exist. Sprawling metropolises and the conveniences within them make it harder for children to remain active in or around their homes. The simple acts of walking to school, riding a bike, or building a fort, once common activities for children, don’t factor into the modern child’s life. The absence of these activities contribute to the problem of childhood obesity, especially when one considers that it was once common for children to spend all day playing outside and contributing to the maintenance of the family property.

Children who choose to spend their extra few minutes of recreational time watching television and playing video games are at greater risk for developing a weight problem, since the minutes add up and eventually turn into hours toward a sedentary lifestyle.

Given the lifestyle changes of US children, parents must take steps to add opportunities for activity into their children’s daily lives. Simple steps can be taken to prevent and combat childhood obesity. Like many other things, it starts from within the home. In addition to changing children’s eating habits and attitudes towards physical activity, parents should incorporate vigorous exercise into their children’s daily lives in the form of chores. The benefits of requiring children to do chores doesn’t end with a clean house or even a newfound sense of responsibility – chores can also improve children’s health by keeping them fit, lean and less susceptible to medical complications associated with childhood obesity, including childhood diabetes and pre-diabetes, heart disease, sleep apnea, bone disorders, gastro-intestinal diseases, high cholesterol, hyperlipidemia, premature puberty and psychological problems. Keeping active by participating in household chores during childhood can also reduce a child’s risk of becoming an overweight adult and worsening pre-existing conditions.

It’s clear that scheduling household chores as part of a child’s regular routine is not only an investment in an orderly home and a well-adjusted child, but also an investment in a healthy body that can serve them well into adulthood and beyond. Children deserve every bit of a head start that parents can afford them. Contributing to a healthy lifestyle by requiring chore work is only one of the many ways that parents can condition their children, both mentally and physically, in preparation to live full, adult lives.

Originally posted 2008-10-03 06:51:58. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Children, Household Chores and Entitlement

A common mistake that parents make when delegating household chores to children is remunerating children for their efforts around the house. The reasons for offering money to children to complete chores can stem from a desire to reward children for a good job or to even bribe them to do chores without fuss. Regardless of the reason, the outcome of this practice can negatively impact children’s understanding of themselves, their place in the world and their internal belief system.

The dramatic shift in culture between the 1960s and the 1970s ushered in a new wave of parents who largely believed that letting “kids just be kids” and relieving them of many of the responsibilities that previous generations had seen was a more attractive method of parenting. But this parental attitude had some unforeseen consequences. It helped develop a sense of entitlement in children.

While conducting research for writing my book Mom, Can I Help Around the House? I conducted a survey of three hundred fifty parents. The survey yielded alarming results and proved that this attitude has not changed much since then. Merely 11% of parents I polled reported that their children’s household contributions are expected and were laid out clearly for them by parents. From this data, we can infer that allowance figures greatly into the children and household chores equation. And we also know that offering an allowance to complete chores can only increase children’s sense of entitlement.

Paying children for chores can negatively impact a child’s personal growth. If children receive money for contributing to their own household the seeds of entitlement can emerge. A sense of entitlement can send a child spiraling away from the concepts of teamwork, family dynamics and the desire to learn important life skills that will contribute to their success as adults if a reward is not attached. Moreover, if frustrated parents stop expecting them to do chores, but continue to give an allowance, while they take care of all the household chores themselves, children may perceive the continued allowance as a reward for refusing to do the chores!

As a parent, it’s important to teach children that household chores are not an extra way to make money, but rather, a way in which to condition themselves into self-sufficient people capable of caring for themselves and aiding in the care of others. By proactively reminding children that their contributions are necessary, expected and appreciated, children will develop a sense of belonging to something larger than themselves, become confident and secure in themselves, their environment, their place in the home and in society. Think of it this way: if parents let “kids just be kids” and protect them in their early years from learning how to take care of themselves and a home, their sense of entitlement can accompany them way past their eighteenth birthday.

Instead of practicing a monetary reward system with household chores, parents should instead opt for teaching children the non-monetary value of chores and emphasize the worth of the skills learned from them. If parents place value on chore completion early in a child’s life, the child is likely to find value in them as well. Because chores are often a group effort, children can celebrate being trusted with important housekeeping jobs and build self-esteem by knowing that their contributions are not only appreciated, but necessary to a functional household. With this type of instruction, children become true apprentices of their parents- little people learning big lessons about life. Their internal belief systems shift to parallel the reality of the real world- a place in which hard work can result in real-life successes, a positive self-concept, service to others, and a healthy environment.

Originally posted 2008-09-07 08:59:51. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Create an Exit Strategy and a Drop Zone

You’re running late (again) and in a panic, you’re trying to get your kids and yourself out the door to school and work. Everyone is running around frantically to find what they need to leave the house with … backpack, cel phone, address book, hat, gym shoes … Does this sound familiar?

This was the scene at our house a few years ago too. What we needed in our home, and now as a Professional Organizer, I find that most of my clients need as well, is an’ exit strategy’ and a ‘drop zone.’ This is an area where items live that need to leave the house with you, as well as where appropriate items ‘drop’ when you arrive home. Items that need consistent homes in this area are:

• A checklist for leaving the house
• List of errands to run
• Keys, cel phone, PDA
• Purse
• Backpack
• Lunch box
• Coats, boots, hats, gloves, etc.
• Briefcase, laptop
• Merchandise returns, charity drop-offs, post office run items
• Umbrella
• Dog leash
• Sports equipment / musical instruments
• Towels for wiping dirty feet
• Trash can for dropping junk mail as you enter the house

To establish your own exit strategy and drop zone, identify (make a list) all the items that are regularly brought into the house and all the items that typically need to leave the house with you each day.

Next, determine the best location (home) for these items to live, in close proximity to the door that your family typically enters and leaves the home. Often this is through the garage. In many clients’ homes, I have arranged baskets to hold cel phones, PDAs, keys. In addition, hooks as the home for backpacks, umbrellas, dog leach, keys. What has become popular in many homes is a locker system where each family member has their own “cubby” or “locker” for holding their own belongings needed. Where space and budget allow, I have often brought in a closet contractor to construct a locker/cubby system for my clients.

A helpful tool for storing hats, gloves, scarves for all family members is to add a vertical over the door shoe holder (typically used to hold shoes vertically on a closet door). The younger kids have the lower pockets, older kids the middle pockets and the adults the top pockets. This way everyone has access to their own items and they can easily be seen through the clear pockets.

With all the electronics we carry daily, it is also important to have a consistent home to charge electronics, like cel phone and PDA. There are now docking stations available for purchase that allow you to charge all your equipment in one station.

After you have identified and strategized what needs to be located in your exit / drop zone and where the best home is for these items, it is critical that you communicate your new system to all family members. When everyone knows that there is a plan, and where the home is for their belongings, they will be more likely honor that system. When there are no consistent homes for belongings, clutter ensues.

Make a “Checklist for Leaving the House” unique to your household, or purchase the “Checklist for Leaving the House” pad for sale here at: http://www.onlineorganizing.com/ProductsPage.asp?name=Checklist_For_Leaving_The_House and keep it next to the door where you exit your home. This becomes your daily checklist and reminder so you don’t have to depend on memory when you’re rushed.

The key to creating and maintaining these areas is to know what you need to store, make the space, establish consistent homes for the items, and communicate the system to all family members. Soon the stress and chaos of the morning exit and afternoon drop will be a thing of the past.

Originally posted 2008-08-19 09:48:36. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

The Organized Student – back to school tips for an organized school year

A new school year is once again upon us. Ugh! Is it just me, or do you dread the back to school rush too? Our summers are getting shorter and shorter every year! My kids had the shortest summer yet – just 2 months. 

As parents, we have great hopes for a smooth transition from relaxing summer days to the hustle and bustle of homework, tests, project deadlines and school activities.

It’s easy to think that just by purchasing that new trendy school supply, your child will instantly transform into an ultra organized student. Although having the right tools are important to establishing an organized environment, even more important are the habits and routines we encourage in our children.

Throughout this month, I’ll be discussing ways to help you simplify your life during the school year.  I will be bringing you tips on how to reward your child for sticking with the schedule and also what to do if the schedule does not seem to work.  I’ll be discussing strategies for maintaining an organized desk or locker at school and setting up an efficient study space at home. Finally, I will be talking about school paper clutter.  What do you do with all those papers that come home?  How do you know what to keep and what to toss?

First up, let’s consider the importance of planning and identifying past challenges for which you’d like to find a solution. 

Plan, Plan, Plan First by Identifying the challenges

As you ponder how to best help your kids be more organized (and therefore, more successful) in school (and in life), consider what has troubled them (and you) the most in the past. Once you identify their challenges, concentrate on simple solutions, and watch them reach new academic heights. Here are some common student organizational challenges and solution paths.

CHALLENGE:  Struggling to complete homework. There is no defined study area and/or time. School supplies are hard to find and family noise and activities are distracting.

SOLUTION: Determine when and where your child will do after-school homework. Set up a homework “command central” that includes all the supplies and tools needed.

CHALLENGE: Time management issues, such as turning in assignments late, being frequently late for school or activities.

SOLUTION: Teach your child how critical it is to use a student planner and  calendar to track activities, upcoming tests, and assignment due dates.

CHALLENGE: Difficulty maintaining a clean desk or locker, resulting in disorganization at school, like lost homework and books.

SOLUTION: Pop in before or after school periodically to help your child organize his desk or locker. Give older children proper tools and advice to organize their desks and lockers.  Teachers are beginning to understand the connection of organization and grades, and often plan desk and locker clean out days throughout the year.

If you notice your child struggling because of disorganization, don’t wait until it’s too late to give or get help. Disorganization has a snowball affect – it negatively affects grades and your child’s sense of control, which can then negatively affect their self-esteem and confidence. Discuss these issues with the teacher, create a strategy for open communication and success with your child, and consider bringing in a professional organizer for added guidance, support, and creative ideas.

Here are some suggested tools to help both parents and kids to get an organized start to the new school year:

Mom, Can I Help Around the House - the beauty of this system is the routines and habits it establishes in your household.

By the Book – How to Take Care of My Kids –  Use this organizer if your kids have after school care, a tutor or caregiver. It’s great for organizing babysitter information as well. 

 

Task Clips – These action specific clips will help your student organize his work by action – To Do, Read, File, Send (could designate papers to send to school)

Next up … Tips for organizing your daily school schedule

Originally posted 2009-08-22 15:34:42. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

The Organized Student – Kids, Backpacks and Papers, Oh My!

I’m a busy mom with school-aged kids, so it goes without saying that we experience hectic school day mornings. If your mornings are chaotic like ours, follow these get-organized tips to ensure a smooth to and from school routine.

• Make mornings flow smoothly by getting everything ready the night before.
• Have school bags packed and placed by the door and tomorrow’s outfits laid out.
• Organize your kid’s departure and arrival spot (I call this the launching and landing pad). Declare a home for backpacks close to the door they leave and arrive. Install hooks at a kid-friendly height. My kids have a square wicker basket close to the door that they enter and leave for school where their backpacks go and other school related items. We place everything that needs to go to school in that basket. When they get home, everything, including shoes get placed there so they don’t get strewn all over the house.
• Keep school shoes by the door to eliminate the mad morning rush to find two matching shoes (this also cuts down on cleaning since kids leave dirty shoes at the door when they come in)
• Pre-pack the non-perishable parts of school lunches, so you can simply pop in a sandwich in the morning. Prepare for breakfast the night before by getting out cereal bowls and cups.
• Create a Kids’ Morning Routine checklist so no essential task gets overlooked, like forgetting to brush teeth or comb hair, and post it on the fridge and/or bathroom mirror.
• Likewise, create an “Out the Door” list of items they need to take to school, and post it on or near the exit door. Include items like homework, lunch, library books, gym shoes, instruments.  Include the time they need to be downstairs for breakfast and when they need to exit the house to meet the bus. This builds their time management skills rather than just waiting for your yelling “the bus is coming” to prompt them. I’ve included a  sample checklist that I created for my oldest daughter when she entered first grade. This made a huge improvement in her ability to stay focused and on task in the morning.

Place a clock in strategic locations in your children’s morning routine , like the bathroom, kitchen and their bedroom. Both my daughters have missed the bus at least once through the year by losing track of time while primping in the bathroom when there was no clock in sight.

 

After we adopted these strategies in our home, our mornings were much less chaotic. And my kids haven’t missed the bus since and gone are the days of mid-morning phone calls from a frantic child begging me to bring their homework or packed lunch they left at home.

To learn more family management strategies like this, my Home Organization Secrets for Busy Moms ebook is now on sale for $9.99 and can be immediately downloaded.

My Daughter’s Morning Schedule (in 1st grade)

Upstairs: Wake up at 7:00am

        Get dressed …

• Put on clean underpants
• Shirt & pants
• Socks – to match outfit
• Shoes – to match outfit
• Brush teeth & tongue
• Comb hair

** 30-45 minutes to get dressed – be ready to come downstairs by 7:45am **

Downstairs: be downstairs by 7:45am

• Come downstairs to kitchen to eat breakfast
• Check backpack to be sure everything has been put in
• Put on coat, gloves, hat
• Walk out door for bus at 8:05am

Originally posted 2009-10-26 22:05:38. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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