Janet In the News – How to Get Kids to Help Around the House

Last Friday I received a call from Julie Marsh, a writer/reporter from a small city in northern California, who was writing an article for her Redding, CA paper about how to get kids to help around the house. I was excited to learn that she had found my blog and read about my book ‘Mom, Can I Help Around the House’ on-line and wanted to interview me for her article.

Even though we live on opposite ends of the US, and will likely never meet personally, as moms of two children of the same ages (12 & 9), we were like old friends in no time. We had a wonderful conversation about bringing our children up with Christian values, how we felt about our role and responsibility to our children to teach them to be self-sufficient, yet servants to their family, and later to be self-sufficient servants as adults in society. We also shared what life was like in our little corner of the world and some funny stories about how we each get our kids to help around the house. 

I thoroughly enjoyed sharing time on the phone with a fellow Christian mom.  Our conversation strengthened my belief and mission to continue in my role as my children’s first and most consistant teacher of home management and of life.  Thank you for that Julie ~ you did a great job on the article.

Here is a link to the article that appeared in the Redding, California newspaper on Feb. 9.

Julie’s Article – How to Get Kids to Help Around the House

I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments on how you see your role as your child’s first and most consistant teacher of life.

To learn more about my book and household chore system that she references, visit: http://www.KidsandChores.net or The Simplified Home.

Janet, The Organizing Genie

Originally posted 2009-02-10 20:05:52. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Decrease Childhood Obesity With Household Chores

In the past 20 years, childhood obesity has tripled in teenagers and doubled in younger children. While these statistics may be alarming and cause for concern for parents, they also don’t have to be a permanent reality. Incorporating household chores into a child’s daily routine has many benefits, two of which are contributing to your child’s overall health and to your child’s sense of self-sufficiency and confidence. Unfortunately, however, it was recently reported in the Wall Street Journal that the amount of time children spend doing chores has declined 12% since 1997 and 25% since 1981.

The fact is that children’s lives are much different than they were even a decade ago. Today’s children spend on average four hours per day watching TV, that was foreign to children a generation ago. Did you know that children who spend more than two hours per day in front of a screen (TV or computer) are more likely to have an unhealthy diet and are less likely to participate in physical activity? When you factor in homework time, hygiene and meals, there’s no time left for children to participate in beneficial activities like physical activity, time spent with family or in positive contributions to the good of the family.

With the rise in suburban sprawl and city living, children no longer benefit from physical activity when the space required to engage in the activities doesn’t exist. Sprawling metropolises and the conveniences within them make it harder for children to remain active in or around their homes. The simple acts of walking to school, riding a bike, or building a fort, once common activities for children, don’t factor into the modern child’s life. The absence of these activities contribute to the problem of childhood obesity, especially when one considers that it was once common for children to spend all day playing outside and contributing to the maintenance of the family property.

Children who choose to spend their extra few minutes of recreational time watching television and playing video games are at greater risk for developing a weight problem, since the minutes add up and eventually turn into hours toward a sedentary lifestyle.

Given the lifestyle changes of US children, parents must take steps to add opportunities for activity into their children’s daily lives. Simple steps can be taken to prevent and combat childhood obesity. Like many other things, it starts from within the home. In addition to changing children’s eating habits and attitudes towards physical activity, parents should incorporate vigorous exercise into their children’s daily lives in the form of chores. The benefits of requiring children to do chores doesn’t end with a clean house or even a newfound sense of responsibility – chores can also improve children’s health by keeping them fit, lean and less susceptible to medical complications associated with childhood obesity, including childhood diabetes and pre-diabetes, heart disease, sleep apnea, bone disorders, gastro-intestinal diseases, high cholesterol, hyperlipidemia, premature puberty and psychological problems. Keeping active by participating in household chores during childhood can also reduce a child’s risk of becoming an overweight adult and worsening pre-existing conditions.

It’s clear that scheduling household chores as part of a child’s regular routine is not only an investment in an orderly home and a well-adjusted child, but also an investment in a healthy body that can serve them well into adulthood and beyond. Children deserve every bit of a head start that parents can afford them. Contributing to a healthy lifestyle by requiring chore work is only one of the many ways that parents can condition their children, both mentally and physically, in preparation to live full, adult lives.

Originally posted 2008-10-03 06:51:58. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Children, Household Chores and Entitlement

A common mistake that parents make when delegating household chores to children is remunerating children for their efforts around the house. The reasons for offering money to children to complete chores can stem from a desire to reward children for a good job or to even bribe them to do chores without fuss. Regardless of the reason, the outcome of this practice can negatively impact children’s understanding of themselves, their place in the world and their internal belief system.

The dramatic shift in culture between the 1960s and the 1970s ushered in a new wave of parents who largely believed that letting “kids just be kids” and relieving them of many of the responsibilities that previous generations had seen was a more attractive method of parenting. But this parental attitude had some unforeseen consequences. It helped develop a sense of entitlement in children.

While conducting research for writing my book Mom, Can I Help Around the House? I conducted a survey of three hundred fifty parents. The survey yielded alarming results and proved that this attitude has not changed much since then. Merely 11% of parents I polled reported that their children’s household contributions are expected and were laid out clearly for them by parents. From this data, we can infer that allowance figures greatly into the children and household chores equation. And we also know that offering an allowance to complete chores can only increase children’s sense of entitlement.

Paying children for chores can negatively impact a child’s personal growth. If children receive money for contributing to their own household the seeds of entitlement can emerge. A sense of entitlement can send a child spiraling away from the concepts of teamwork, family dynamics and the desire to learn important life skills that will contribute to their success as adults if a reward is not attached. Moreover, if frustrated parents stop expecting them to do chores, but continue to give an allowance, while they take care of all the household chores themselves, children may perceive the continued allowance as a reward for refusing to do the chores!

As a parent, it’s important to teach children that household chores are not an extra way to make money, but rather, a way in which to condition themselves into self-sufficient people capable of caring for themselves and aiding in the care of others. By proactively reminding children that their contributions are necessary, expected and appreciated, children will develop a sense of belonging to something larger than themselves, become confident and secure in themselves, their environment, their place in the home and in society. Think of it this way: if parents let “kids just be kids” and protect them in their early years from learning how to take care of themselves and a home, their sense of entitlement can accompany them way past their eighteenth birthday.

Instead of practicing a monetary reward system with household chores, parents should instead opt for teaching children the non-monetary value of chores and emphasize the worth of the skills learned from them. If parents place value on chore completion early in a child’s life, the child is likely to find value in them as well. Because chores are often a group effort, children can celebrate being trusted with important housekeeping jobs and build self-esteem by knowing that their contributions are not only appreciated, but necessary to a functional household. With this type of instruction, children become true apprentices of their parents- little people learning big lessons about life. Their internal belief systems shift to parallel the reality of the real world- a place in which hard work can result in real-life successes, a positive self-concept, service to others, and a healthy environment.

Originally posted 2008-09-07 08:59:51. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

The Organized Student – back to school tips for an organized school year

A new school year is once again upon us. Ugh! Is it just me, or do you dread the back to school rush too? Our summers are getting shorter and shorter every year! My kids had the shortest summer yet – just 2 months. 

As parents, we have great hopes for a smooth transition from relaxing summer days to the hustle and bustle of homework, tests, project deadlines and school activities.

It’s easy to think that just by purchasing that new trendy school supply, your child will instantly transform into an ultra organized student. Although having the right tools are important to establishing an organized environment, even more important are the habits and routines we encourage in our children.

Throughout this month, I’ll be discussing ways to help you simplify your life during the school year.  I will be bringing you tips on how to reward your child for sticking with the schedule and also what to do if the schedule does not seem to work.  I’ll be discussing strategies for maintaining an organized desk or locker at school and setting up an efficient study space at home. Finally, I will be talking about school paper clutter.  What do you do with all those papers that come home?  How do you know what to keep and what to toss?

First up, let’s consider the importance of planning and identifying past challenges for which you’d like to find a solution. 

Plan, Plan, Plan First by Identifying the challenges

As you ponder how to best help your kids be more organized (and therefore, more successful) in school (and in life), consider what has troubled them (and you) the most in the past. Once you identify their challenges, concentrate on simple solutions, and watch them reach new academic heights. Here are some common student organizational challenges and solution paths.

CHALLENGE:  Struggling to complete homework. There is no defined study area and/or time. School supplies are hard to find and family noise and activities are distracting.

SOLUTION: Determine when and where your child will do after-school homework. Set up a homework “command central” that includes all the supplies and tools needed.

CHALLENGE: Time management issues, such as turning in assignments late, being frequently late for school or activities.

SOLUTION: Teach your child how critical it is to use a student planner and  calendar to track activities, upcoming tests, and assignment due dates.

CHALLENGE: Difficulty maintaining a clean desk or locker, resulting in disorganization at school, like lost homework and books.

SOLUTION: Pop in before or after school periodically to help your child organize his desk or locker. Give older children proper tools and advice to organize their desks and lockers.  Teachers are beginning to understand the connection of organization and grades, and often plan desk and locker clean out days throughout the year.

If you notice your child struggling because of disorganization, don’t wait until it’s too late to give or get help. Disorganization has a snowball affect – it negatively affects grades and your child’s sense of control, which can then negatively affect their self-esteem and confidence. Discuss these issues with the teacher, create a strategy for open communication and success with your child, and consider bringing in a professional organizer for added guidance, support, and creative ideas.

Here are some suggested tools to help both parents and kids to get an organized start to the new school year:

Mom, Can I Help Around the House - the beauty of this system is the routines and habits it establishes in your household.

By the Book – How to Take Care of My Kids –  Use this organizer if your kids have after school care, a tutor or caregiver. It’s great for organizing babysitter information as well. 

 

Task Clips – These action specific clips will help your student organize his work by action – To Do, Read, File, Send (could designate papers to send to school)

Next up … Tips for organizing your daily school schedule

Originally posted 2009-08-22 15:34:42. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

The Organized Student – Kids, Backpacks and Papers, Oh My!

I’m a busy mom with school-aged kids, so it goes without saying that we experience hectic school day mornings. If your mornings are chaotic like ours, follow these get-organized tips to ensure a smooth to and from school routine.

• Make mornings flow smoothly by getting everything ready the night before.
• Have school bags packed and placed by the door and tomorrow’s outfits laid out.
• Organize your kid’s departure and arrival spot (I call this the launching and landing pad). Declare a home for backpacks close to the door they leave and arrive. Install hooks at a kid-friendly height. My kids have a square wicker basket close to the door that they enter and leave for school where their backpacks go and other school related items. We place everything that needs to go to school in that basket. When they get home, everything, including shoes get placed there so they don’t get strewn all over the house.
• Keep school shoes by the door to eliminate the mad morning rush to find two matching shoes (this also cuts down on cleaning since kids leave dirty shoes at the door when they come in)
• Pre-pack the non-perishable parts of school lunches, so you can simply pop in a sandwich in the morning. Prepare for breakfast the night before by getting out cereal bowls and cups.
• Create a Kids’ Morning Routine checklist so no essential task gets overlooked, like forgetting to brush teeth or comb hair, and post it on the fridge and/or bathroom mirror.
• Likewise, create an “Out the Door” list of items they need to take to school, and post it on or near the exit door. Include items like homework, lunch, library books, gym shoes, instruments.  Include the time they need to be downstairs for breakfast and when they need to exit the house to meet the bus. This builds their time management skills rather than just waiting for your yelling “the bus is coming” to prompt them. I’ve included a  sample checklist that I created for my oldest daughter when she entered first grade. This made a huge improvement in her ability to stay focused and on task in the morning.

Place a clock in strategic locations in your children’s morning routine , like the bathroom, kitchen and their bedroom. Both my daughters have missed the bus at least once through the year by losing track of time while primping in the bathroom when there was no clock in sight.

 

After we adopted these strategies in our home, our mornings were much less chaotic. And my kids haven’t missed the bus since and gone are the days of mid-morning phone calls from a frantic child begging me to bring their homework or packed lunch they left at home.

To learn more family management strategies like this, my Home Organization Secrets for Busy Moms ebook is now on sale for $9.99 and can be immediately downloaded.

My Daughter’s Morning Schedule (in 1st grade)

Upstairs: Wake up at 7:00am

        Get dressed …

• Put on clean underpants
• Shirt & pants
• Socks – to match outfit
• Shoes – to match outfit
• Brush teeth & tongue
• Comb hair

** 30-45 minutes to get dressed – be ready to come downstairs by 7:45am **

Downstairs: be downstairs by 7:45am

• Come downstairs to kitchen to eat breakfast
• Check backpack to be sure everything has been put in
• Put on coat, gloves, hat
• Walk out door for bus at 8:05am

Originally posted 2009-10-26 22:05:38. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Children, Chores and Praise

Praise is an essential part of offering regular encouragement to a child who would otherwise find the task of household chores undesirable. It also helps remind children that their contributions to the household are appreciated and a necessary component to its functionality.

Young children respond especially well to verbal praise, as it contributes to their sense of self-worth. Small children desire to be valued by the grown-ups in their lives and will often repeat behavior that leads to praise for positively contributing to their environment. I remember the days when my daughters pretended to be vacuuming with their toy vacuum cleaner right along side of me as I vacuumed. A few simple, encouraging words that validate their efforts around the house can go a long way in building self-confidence, a sense of community and inviting them to repeat the behavior.

Be careful however – praising a child to an extreme can be counterproductive. For the past few decades, parents have gone to extremes with excessive praise toward their children. This method can have an underlying message that a child has to look externally to a parent or adult for validation. A more productive and lasting method of praise emphasizes:

• The behavior the child exhibited while completing a chore, rather than the result. Rather than saying “great job cleaning up your room”, which doesn’t give your child much information to repeat the desired behavior, instead say, “you really worked hard to make your bed. I appreciate your effort.”

• The actions your child exhibits. An important element of learning at any age and skill level is to feel valued as an individual with unique talents and strengths. When my daughter was learning to make her bed, I found every opportunity to praise her efforts. As a result, she has developed a strength through the basic actions of cleaning up her room.

Praise children for doing household chores in a fun and engaging manner. Review with your child the steps that it took to do the chore, all the while congratulating and complimenting him for his efforts. This method reinforces for a child the importance of the chore’s process and the effort it took to complete it.

Praising efforts rather than results can also instill a sense of cooperativeness and teamwork in your children – both of which are essential as they grow to be functional parts of society. Whether parents realize it or not, the praise that they give children after completing a chore can indirectly effect how children approach and handle interpersonal relationships in the future. The lessons learned from chores while younger, including the value of helpfulness and cooperation, can lead to successful relationships and satisfactory personal lives down the road.

Keep in mind that children, especially when learning new chores, are not likely to perform the chore to an adult’s standard. But just like you, they have to start somewhere. Parents should be generous with praise and understand that instruction may need to be repeated until the child performs to his highest ability or the chore is done correctly.

So the next time your child performs his assigned household chores consider the lessons to your child and don’t be afraid to tell him how proud you are of his efforts, behavior and accomplishments. Your praise can contribute to the next phrase of their personal development and help smooth their road to adulthood.

Originally posted 2008-09-11 09:04:52. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Organize Your Children for Current and Future Success

As a parent, teaching children the skill of organization is not just one less cleaning job on the household chore checklist. Some experts consider teaching children organizational skills as fundamental as instructing them about morals, values and other personal signposts. In fact, organization skills taught during childhood are likely to follow the child through adolescence and into adulthood. And when children reach adult age, these essential skills can translate into real-world talents and successes.

So is it possible for parents to teach children to become organized? Take it from a Professional Organizer – most definitely! I regularly experience the benefits of teaching my children organizational skills – my nine-year-old now asks to put away and organize our family’s groceries by herself, and she does a great job doing so.

While many children will not initially find the activity of organizing their personal items desirable, they will welcome the consistent routine that organizing offers. Because children generally respond well to consistency and structure, and parents love an organized home, the arrangement would seem like a no-brainer – teach your children organizational skills and parents enjoy a less-cluttered household in the process.

However, many parents make the mistake of simply saying “clean your room” which essentially leaves organizational methods up to their children and allows them the opportunity to make creative organizational choices. Without the necessary instruction, a child can just throw their toys anywhere they please as long as the clutter is out of sight. Creativity is fine, but what will happen when the child arrives in the real world as an adult? Will his kooky childhood methods serve him well amongst his peers?

As a child’s first teacher and the guardian of their future, it is up to the parent to take every opportunity to prepare their children for their adult lives. It is well worth the effort for parents to communicate basic rules of organization that will build a child’s skills. Rules provide structure in children’s lives and structure lays the foundation for the types of people children will grow up to be.

So why waste an opportunity to guide the development of your child? In essence, if you teach a child how to be well-organized, he will grow to be a well-organized adult. To aid you in your efforts, I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you about the family chore system and household organizer – Mom, Can I Help Around the House?, that I designed for my own family. Then two years ago I began sharing it with friends and organizing clients. It transformed our family and taught my children critical organizing skills, that they continue to build on each day.

Consider using the household chores and organizing routine as a means to teach your children how to become capable adults. They likely will not recognize the investment now, but as an adult they will witness others their own age have trouble with tasks they mastered while children, and will no doubt be grateful for the skills they seemed to effortlessly learn while in your care.

Originally posted 2008-08-23 06:38:28. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

John Rosemond is my Hero!

When I began writing my book, Mom, Can I Help Around the House? I consulted the expertise of many highly regarded child development experts. One of my favorites is John Rosemond. When my oldest was about 3 years old (she’s now 14), I was fortunate to have had the opportunity to attend a presentation of his at my church and found his traditional philosophies about raising children to be identical to my own. I have read several of his books as well. This week I happened upon an article by John Rosemond that I had to include on my blog. His no-nonsense approach just tells it like it is, and I believe today’s parents need reminders like this to bring them back to reality of what our role is of a parent. This is what my book and chore system is all about, but I could never say it as eloquently as John Rosemond has in the following article.

Teach children the skills they need to be independent

The purpose of raising a child is to get him or her out of your life and into a life of his/her own.

1. Put yourself at the center of your child’s attention, not the other way around. It is a simple matter to discipline a child who is paying attention to you and nigh-unto impossible to discipline a child who is not.

In that regard, always keep in mind that the more attention you pay a child, the less attention the child will pay to you.

2. Put your child into a meaningful role in your family, one that is defined in terms of responsibilities known as chores (remember them?).  By the time your child is 4 years old, he should be contributing significant time and effort on a daily basis to the maintenance of the household.Your child’s chores should not be assigned haphazardly, but should be established as a routine.

In addition to picking up after himself and keeping his own living space clean and orderly, he should be working in “common areas” of the home, doing such things as dusting and vacuuming.

You do tell people that your child is gifted, do you not?

Without chores, a child is a mere consumer, on a perpetual entitlement program, and entitlements do not strengthen people or culture. Grow a strong child.

3. Keep television and other electronic media out of your child’s life until your child has learned to read well and is self-entertaining.The research is clear that electronic media shortens attention span, interferes with the development of certain critical thinking skills and develops a dependency that leads to frequent complaints of boredom.

Remember that an average of just two hours of “screen time” a day means your child is absorbing electronic stimulation to the tune of 730 hours a year. That’s the equivalent of eighteen 40-hour work weeks.

Think of the creativity that’s being lost. Grow a child with a strong brain.

4. From day one, keep clutter out of your child’s life by keeping toys and other “stuff” at a minimum.
Paradoxically, children who entertain themselves well (low-maintenance children) tend to have few toys. These children are also more grateful for and take better care of what they have. Grow an imaginative, creative child.

5. Emphasize manners, not skills.

Sixty years ago, most children came to overcrowded first grades not knowing their ABCs, yet at the end of the year were reading at a higher level than today’s kids, most of whom are already reading in kindergarten.

That happened because parents of 60 years ago taught proper behavior, not skills; therefore, teachers taught skills, not proper behavior. Grow a polite child.

6. Love your child enough to grow a happy child.

Family psychologist John Rosemond answers parents’ questions on his Web site at www.rosemond.com.

As I write this, my girls are happily doing their chores. To receive the first chapter of my book Mom, Can I Help Around the House? , visit www.KidsandChores.net.

Originally posted 2008-12-13 19:28:33. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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