John Rosemond is my Hero!

When I began writing my book, Mom, Can I Help Around the House? I consulted the expertise of many highly regarded child experts. One of my favorites is John Rosemond. Several years ago, I was fortunate to have had the opportunity to attend a presentation of his at my church and found his traditional philosophies about raising children to be identical to my own. I have read several of his books as well. This week I happened upon an article by John Rosemond that I had to include on my blog. His no-nonsense approach just tells it like it is, and I believe today’s parents need reminders like this to bring them back to reality of what our role is of a parent. This is what my book and chore system is all about, but I could never say it as eloquently as John Rosemond has in the following article.

Teach children the skills they need to be independent

The purpose of raising a child is to get him or her out of your life and into a life of his/her own.

1. Put yourself at the center of your child’s attention, not the other way around. It is a simple matter to discipline a child who is paying attention to you and nigh-unto impossible to discipline a child who is not.

In that regard, always keep in mind that the more attention you pay a child, the less attention the child will pay to you.

2. Put your child into a meaningful role in your family, one that is defined in terms of responsibilities known as chores (remember them?).  By the time your child is 4 years old, he should be contributing significant time and effort on a daily basis to the maintenance of the household.Your child’s chores should not be assigned haphazardly, but should be established as a routine.

In addition to picking up after himself and keeping his own living space clean and orderly, he should be working in “common areas” of the home, doing such things as dusting and vacuuming.

You do tell people that your child is gifted, do you not?

Without chores, a child is a mere consumer, on a perpetual entitlement program, and entitlements do not strengthen people or culture. Grow a strong child.

3. Keep television and other electronic media out of your child’s life until your child has learned to read well and is self-entertaining.The research is clear that electronic media shortens attention span, interferes with the development of certain critical thinking skills and develops a dependency that leads to frequent complaints of boredom.

Remember that an average of just two hours of “screen time” a day means your child is absorbing electronic stimulation to the tune of 730 hours a year. That’s the equivalent of eighteen 40-hour work weeks.

Think of the creativity that’s being lost. Grow a child with a strong brain.

4. From day one, keep clutter out of your child’s life by keeping toys and other “stuff” at a minimum.
Paradoxically, children who entertain themselves well (low-maintenance children) tend to have few toys. These children are also more grateful for and take better care of what they have. Grow an imaginative, creative child.

5. Emphasize manners, not skills.

Sixty years ago, most children came to overcrowded first grades not knowing their ABCs, yet at the end of the year were reading at a higher level than today’s kids, most of whom are already reading in kindergarten.

That happened because parents of 60 years ago taught proper behavior, not skills; therefore, teachers taught skills, not proper behavior. Grow a polite child.

6. Love your child enough to grow a happy child.

Family psychologist John Rosemond answers parents’ questions on his Web site at www.rosemond.com.

As I write this, my two kids are happily doing their chores. To receive the first chapter of my book Mom, Can I Help Around the House? F’ree, visit href=”http://www.KidsandChores.net”>www.KidsandChores.net.

Originally posted 2008-12-13 19:28:33. Republished by Old Post Promoter

The Organized Student – Kids, Backpacks and Papers, Oh My!

I’m a busy mom with school-aged kids, so it goes without saying that we experience hectic school day mornings. If your mornings are chaotic like ours, follow these get-organized tips to ensure a smooth to and from school routine.

• Make mornings flow smoothly by getting everything ready the night before.
• Have school bags packed and placed by the door and tomorrow’s outfits laid out.
• Organize your kid’s departure and arrival spot (I call this the launching and landing pad). Declare a home for backpacks close to the door they leave and arrive. Install hooks at a kid-friendly height. My kids have a square wicker basket close to the door that they enter and leave for school where their backpacks go and other school related items. We place everything that needs to go to school in that basket. When they get home, everything, including shoes get placed there so they don’t get strewn all over the house.
• Keep school shoes by the door to eliminate the mad morning rush to find two matching shoes (this also cuts down on cleaning since kids leave dirty shoes at the door when they come in)
• Pre-pack the non-perishable parts of school lunches, so you can simply pop in a sandwich in the morning. Prepare for breakfast the night before by getting out cereal bowls and cups.
• Create a Kids’ Morning Routine checklist so no essential task gets overlooked, like forgetting to brush teeth or comb hair, and post it on the fridge and/or bathroom mirror.
• Likewise, create an “Out the Door” list of items they need to take to school, and post it on or near the exit door. Include items like homework, lunch, library books, gym shoes, instruments.  Include the time they need to be downstairs for breakfast and when they need to exit the house to meet the bus. This builds their time management skills rather than just waiting for your yelling “the bus is coming” to prompt them. I’ve included a  sample checklist that I created for my oldest daughter when she entered first grade. This made a huge improvement in her ability to stay focused and on task in the morning.

Place a clock in strategic locations in your children’s morning routine , like the bathroom, kitchen and their bedroom. Both my daughters have missed the bus at least once through the year by losing track of time while primping in the bathroom when there was no clock in sight.

 

After we adopted these strategies in our home, our mornings were much less chaotic. And my kids haven’t missed the bus since and gone are the days of mid-morning phone calls from a frantic child begging me to bring their homework or packed lunch they left at home.

To learn more family management strategies like this, my Home Organization Secrets for Busy Moms ebook is now on sale for $9.99 and can be immediately downloaded.

My Daughter’s Morning Schedule (in 1st grade)

Upstairs: Wake up at 7:00am

        Get dressed …

• Put on clean underpants
• Shirt & pants
• Socks – to match outfit
• Shoes – to match outfit
• Brush teeth & tongue
• Comb hair

** 30-45 minutes to get dressed – be ready to come downstairs by 7:45am **

Downstairs: be downstairs by 7:45am

• Come downstairs to kitchen to eat breakfast
• Check backpack to be sure everything has been put in
• Put on coat, gloves, hat
• Walk out door for bus at 8:05am

Originally posted 2009-10-26 22:05:38. Republished by Old Post Promoter

The Organized Student – school success starts with routines and habits

News Flash … we are not born organized. Organization is a learned skill. Just as children are taught to do long division, hit a baseball, or play a musical instrument, they learn organizational skills, like how to organize their space, time, and tasks. As the adult in their lives, it’s your important job to pass along helpful tips for organizing success. Here are a few ideas: 

• Help create a habit of doing homework in the same place, at the same time, every day.  
• Teach time management skills. Encourage younger students to look at the family calendar each day so they know what’s coming up. Middle and high schoolers can  use a planner to track assignments, large projects, upcoming tests, extracurricular activities, and appointments. Help them see that some things will take a long time to accomplish, while others will only take a few minutes.
• Help them prioritize tasks each day, focusing first on assignments with the most urgency or earliest due dates. Teach them to use high-energy times to their advantage: It’s often best to do the hardest task first, rather than saving it for the evening when they’re tired. Or have them start out on a good note by tackling one quick, simple task first to get momentum going, followed by the hardest assignment. Older students will benefit from creating to-do lists: Teach them to use two task groups: an urgent, “To Do today” list and less timely ” do it this week” list.

 

Now let’s consider how to establish school year routines and habits.

Morning wake-up time:
It is FAR better to have a little extra time in the morning to get ready rather than a blurred rush out the door.  For most children, about an hour is needed to get up, get ready, eat, etc.  If your child must be at the bus stop for 7:30am, wake them up no later than 6:30am.  If your child tends to be a bit of a slug in the morning, you will need to wake him/her up earlier and/or put them to bed earlier at night.

Morning routine:
There are certain tasks that only take a couple of minutes that can (and should) be taken care of first thing in the morning.  For example, have your child learn to make his/her bed before leaving his room in the morning. In addition, have them put their dirty clothes in the hamper and wipe the sink out when they are done brushing their teeth. For younger children you may want to set-up a timer and give them a certain amount of time to wake up, get dressed, do their morning tasks, and come for breakfast.  You can make this a game with a prize if they make it to the breakfast table all week long before the timer goes off.  A good prize would be a board game with Mom and/or Dad.  Rewards should not always be monetary…get clever and be creative!!

After School:
Homework truly should take precedence over anything else.  Sit down with your child and come up with a workable time block for homework.  This time block does not have to take place at the same time each evening, just try not to have this be the last thing that they do before going to bed.  In addition, it is not always a good idea to simply say they have to do their homework before they can go outside/watch television/etc, because that is just asking for them to rush through their homework.  A good idea is to set aside a certain amount of time and tell your child that this is schoolwork time.  Homework time should not be a race to get done.  If they get done ahead of time they can read a little extra, or you may want to come up with another educational time-filler (word finds, crossword puzzles, etc).  It is really a wonderful idea if you can sit down at the table with your child while they do their homework.  Use this time block to do any paperwork that you need to get done as well. As odd as this may sound, my kids look forward to our homework time when we sit quietly together at the table and work on our own stuff.

Before bedtime:
Before bedtime is a great time to get prepared for the morning rush. Have your child lay out clothes the night before.  Personally, I like to have all the clothes for the week picked out on the weekend, but I know that is not for everyone.  Mornings are not the time to find out that Suzy can’t find the shirt that goes with the pants that she just NEEDS to wear today!  Have your child not only lay out the clothes, but also their underwear, socks, accessories and shoes. If you have a younger child who wants to be able to pick out his/her own clothes I have a fun idea for you.  Assemble an outfit including clothes, socks, shoes, etc. and take a picture.  Do this with several other outfits.  Using the pictures, allow your child to choose her ensemble and then she can get her clothes together fairly easily using the picture as a guide.  Keep adding to the photo collection and soon you will have a full wardrobe of pictures.

In addition, prior to bedtime set the timer for 15 minutes and have a big “15-minute clean-up.”  Have everyone run through the house with grocery-sized bags and collect items that don’t belong in certain rooms and put them away.  Finally before sending your child to bed, make sure backpacks are filled and ready by the door.  Once again, you can come up with a fun reward if these tasks are completed throughout the week!

Here are some great tools to help both you and your  older students get organized for school:

Sticky Sets - sticky notes that help prioritize whatever they’re stuck to

PaperConnect Home Command Center – for holding all those school lists and such

 

 

 

 

Find more unique organizing products at The Simplified Home.

Originally posted 2009-08-24 23:34:09. Republished by Old Post Promoter

Form a family team with age-appropriate chores

What age do you think that kids should start contributing to household chores?
Kids of all ages can and should be taught by their parents the value of organizing and cleaning up after themselves. If parents teach them in an age-appropriate, structured way, it’s a value that will stick with them throughout their lives and help them to be successful.

Parents can teach their kids by establishing regular routines for other things, like bedtimes, meals and chores. Kids will soon learn what is expected of them and it won’t seem like work to them. If you have multiple kids, you can even assign tasks according to their ages. In my home, we use the “Mom Can I Help Around the House” chore system. The idea is really simple. Each of my kids has a personalized chore binder assigned to them. Each chore is clearly written so they understand what they need to do. They are expected to complete their chores between Friday after school through Sunday at noon. Each of my kids learns to manage their time, set goals, experiences the satisfaction of accomplishing a task and is praised for their efforts. All without my having to “nag” them!

Here are some chores your children can do for their specific age group:

Kids under 6 should be able to these chores:

• Pick up their toys.
• Hang up coats and put shoes away.
• Set the dinner table.

Kids over 6 can (and should) help with:

• Help with laundry
• Clear used dinner items after meals and help with washing dishes.
• Help with caring for pets.

As your children grow, add responsibilities to your children(s)’ chore folder that include more steps and instructions. Be sure to praise them along the way and give them every opportunity to succeed. Keep in mind that you’re not doing them any favors if you follow behind your children and correct their work. In the real world, this won’t be done for them. Give them real world exposure by providing feedback and have them correct less than acceptable work. This teaches them, above all else, a sense of responsibility and accomplishment for a job well done. You will be able to maintain a cleaner home and your children will have learned valuable skills that will last a lifetime.

Originally posted 2008-09-29 06:28:25. Republished by Old Post Promoter