Who Gets Grandma’s Yellow Pie Plate?

Movies and TV shows have depicted the drama that comes from the emotional and complex job of dividing inherited items among family. Most families can tell stories about fights that have broken out over Mom’s good china or Grandma’s doll collection. Perhaps you have already experienced this madness and fighting, but hopefully you have been spared so far from this torture. I’ve experienced this twice in my family ~ one experience was a positive one of reflection and family bonding. The other however, was a nightmare. As a result of how personal property was divided in my in-laws family, family bonds were broken. A brother and sister haven’t spoken in five years.

As we Baby Boomers age, these issues will become increasingly prevalent and they deserve consideration in your family. In the past few years as a Professional Organizer, I have had increasing numbers of clients who call on me as an objective third party to help in these family transitions.

When a loved one passes away, it is not just the items in a Will that need to be dispersed, there is also the personal property as well. Estate Attorneys reveal that it typically isn’t how the monetary assets are divided that causes conflict in families ~ it is the dividing of personal belongings that cause the emotional conflicts. Childhood and family memories are tied to these physical items. Unless the family is proactive in planning for this inevitable transition, conflict, misunderstandings and hurt can result. 

When I started working with families and seniors in transition, I found a wonderful book that helps families plan for this inevitable process. Written from a true story, the workbook “Who Gets Grandma’s Yellow Pie Plate” was researched and developed by the University of Minnesota Extension Service. Full of fill-in the blank forms and order of importance forms, the topics covered in this 83-page workbook are:

•        The importance of recognizing the sensitivity of the issues

•        Determining what you want to accomplish as a family

•        Deciding what’s fair to all involved family

•        Understanding that belongings have different meanings to different people

•        Distribution options and consequences

•        Identifying that the family relationships are more important than stuff

•        The importance of making agreements to manage conflicts if they arise

Some non-titled property that this workbook may help you to divide are china, collectibles, jewelry and family heirlooms. The workbook guides you and your family through the steps of developing a plan for the easiest and most painless way to divide everything, with the goal of preserving family bonds and remaining on speaking terms afterwards. This book is a great asset for any family who will be, or already is, in the emotional position of dividing personal property of a loved one.

 

 

 

Originally posted 2009-01-09 14:18:27. Republished by Old Post Promoter

The Importance of Having Medical Information at Your Fingertips

When it comes to your medical bills and records, you are probably like 90% of the population. You get an explanation of benefits (EOB) for a recent doctor’s visit and it goes in one of two places. The EOB gets shredded or perhaps, you keep it and throw it in a drawer. 

Then what happens when you receive a bill from the doctor’s office stating the insurance denied the charge and you owe the entire amount. A frantic search ensues to find the Dr. appointment receipt and EOB so you can resolve the error. 

Like most households, each month you receive a variety of documents having to do with your health status. From referrals, explanation of benefits to treatment instructions, the piles of medical papers add up. Multiply this by the number of family members in your household, and you can see how disorganized medical records can be a never-ending problem and a cause of great stress in the event of an emergency.

So what’s the solution? You need a system for managing your medical records. Without one, chances are you’ll never find the paper you need when you need it. For anyone who has experienced a medical emergency themselves or with a loved one, you know how critical it is to have quick access to organized medical records. I learned this first hand in 2008 when my mother suffered a stroke and heart attack! I needed to be able to immediately put my hands on her medical records, which included all medications she was taking. My mother didn’t have any system in place that I could refer to, and due to her stroke, she wasn’t able to communicate to me where I could find all of that information. More on this later.   

The Medical Organizer Kit is designed to solve that problem, and it certainly did for us. This kit is a ready-made system and 3-ring binder with dividers where you can store everything relating to your medical needs and bills, in order to keep this important information at your fingertips. 

When my mother suffered her heart attack and stroke (simultaneously), our world changed that day. As the only child living close to my mother (and also a single parent of two children), it became my role to coordinate everything related to her sudden illness ~ from Dr. appointments, multiple medications, referrals, tests, treatment, rehab. therapy, diagnoses, and more. The amount of new information that was coming at me daily was difficult to wrap your arms around. If you’ve ever experienced a sudden or serious illness with a child, parent or yourself, you know what I’m talking about.

Fortunately, I remembered the new Medical Organizer system that I had recently added to my Simplified Home e-store ~ I now had a reason to use it personally. I immediately tore open this Kit and began organizing all of my mother’s medical information in the binder by the categories it provides. There was a place for everything including a notepad for taking notes at each Doctor appointment and therapy, and sections for storing business cards. For the next six months during my mother’s slow recovery, her Medical Organizer binder became the “go-to” place for all of the medical information we needed at our fingertips on a daily basis. The Medical Organizer went with us to every therapy, doctor’s appointment and test. I felt in control again and felt gratified that I was able to provide the support my mother needed.

As my mother continued to recover and her memory became more reliable to her, the Medical Organizer was a God-send for her to track the history from the date of her stroke. She felt in control by having all of her medical history at her fingertips as she continued her therapy throughout this past year.

The moral of the story is to be proactive now for the inevitiable emergency. It will be critically important to be organized and in control during a situation that is really out of your control. Having The Medical Organizer kit at my fingertips helped me feel in control, so I could be there fully for my mother’s needs.

In case you’re wondering … by the grace of God, my mother has returned to 95% of her old life, feeling a renewed sense of gratitude and appreciation for life. As am I and all those who love her.

Originally posted 2009-01-14 12:22:44. Republished by Old Post Promoter