John Rosemond is my Hero!

When I began writing my book, Mom, Can I Help Around the House? I consulted the expertise of many highly regarded child experts. One of my favorites is John Rosemond. Several years ago, I was fortunate to have had the opportunity to attend a presentation of his at my church and found his traditional philosophies about raising children to be identical to my own. I have read several of his books as well. This week I happened upon an article by John Rosemond that I had to include on my blog. His no-nonsense approach just tells it like it is, and I believe today’s parents need reminders like this to bring them back to reality of what our role is of a parent. This is what my book and chore system is all about, but I could never say it as eloquently as John Rosemond has in the following article.

Teach children the skills they need to be independent

The purpose of raising a child is to get him or her out of your life and into a life of his/her own.

1. Put yourself at the center of your child’s attention, not the other way around. It is a simple matter to discipline a child who is paying attention to you and nigh-unto impossible to discipline a child who is not.

In that regard, always keep in mind that the more attention you pay a child, the less attention the child will pay to you.

2. Put your child into a meaningful role in your family, one that is defined in terms of responsibilities known as chores (remember them?).  By the time your child is 4 years old, he should be contributing significant time and effort on a daily basis to the maintenance of the household.Your child’s chores should not be assigned haphazardly, but should be established as a routine.

In addition to picking up after himself and keeping his own living space clean and orderly, he should be working in “common areas” of the home, doing such things as dusting and vacuuming.

You do tell people that your child is gifted, do you not?

Without chores, a child is a mere consumer, on a perpetual entitlement program, and entitlements do not strengthen people or culture. Grow a strong child.

3. Keep television and other electronic media out of your child’s life until your child has learned to read well and is self-entertaining.The research is clear that electronic media shortens attention span, interferes with the development of certain critical thinking skills and develops a dependency that leads to frequent complaints of boredom.

Remember that an average of just two hours of “screen time” a day means your child is absorbing electronic stimulation to the tune of 730 hours a year. That’s the equivalent of eighteen 40-hour work weeks.

Think of the creativity that’s being lost. Grow a child with a strong brain.

4. From day one, keep clutter out of your child’s life by keeping toys and other “stuff” at a minimum.
Paradoxically, children who entertain themselves well (low-maintenance children) tend to have few toys. These children are also more grateful for and take better care of what they have. Grow an imaginative, creative child.

5. Emphasize manners, not skills.

Sixty years ago, most children came to overcrowded first grades not knowing their ABCs, yet at the end of the year were reading at a higher level than today’s kids, most of whom are already reading in kindergarten.

That happened because parents of 60 years ago taught proper behavior, not skills; therefore, teachers taught skills, not proper behavior. Grow a polite child.

6. Love your child enough to grow a happy child.

Family psychologist John Rosemond answers parents’ questions on his Web site at www.rosemond.com.

As I write this, my two kids are happily doing their chores. To receive the first chapter of my book Mom, Can I Help Around the House? F’ree, visit href=”http://www.KidsandChores.net”>www.KidsandChores.net.

Originally posted 2008-12-13 19:28:33. Republished by Old Post Promoter

Think in systems to organize your home and life

When I worked in the corporate world as a business analyst it wasn’t a stretch for me to think in systems.  In an office environment processes and procedures are established to create order and and establish habits.  Often office systems are documented in a Procedure Manual for all to follow.  We are also accustomed to having the supplies needed in our work space in order for us to perform our job and to follow the company’s systems. 

When I became a Professional Organizer in 2003, it occurred to me that we can transfer this same ’systems theory’ to managing our home. You manage your home in systems as well.

So what do I mean by a a home management system?  It is a set of procedures and processes, or a routine/habit that is put in place in your home to manage five key variables:

·   Space

·   Your stuff

·   Information flow

·   Your time

·   Relationships – with those for whom you share your space 

 

Develop systems to manage these variables and you have designed solutions to calm the chaos of your daily life. A system can be as simple as a labeled folder to a specific organizing product designed to hold all your personal information, like those available in our e-store The Simplified Home.  The important thing is that you establish a consistent routine or process for yourself and your family for the repetitive tasks you perform regularly. These routines/processes done consistently become habits.  One of my favorite quotes, by Ben Franklin, is …

 

 “To change a habit begin immediately and let no single exception to occur.”

 

Consistency is the key to establishing a habit.  

When I work personally with clients, I assess the systems they have in place and those that are missing. So what systems should you consider to simplify your home?  Here’s a list of home organization systems I suggest that my  clients consider.  

 

• System for keeping track of your daily schedule

• System for processing incoming mail – from the mailbox and from children’s bookbags

• System (or consistent home) for finding car keys, purse/wallet, cel-phone, laptop, etc.

• System for paying bills on time

• System for teaching and delegating household chores within the family

• System for food shopping (grocery list and organizing coupons)

• System for keeping track of daily and weekly To Dos (actions)

• System for regular decluttering / weeding

• System for tracking birthdays, anniversaries

• System for the home laundry process

• System (routine) for getting out of the house on time for work, appointments, meetings

• System for staying focused and productive (i.e., timer, alarm)

• System for processing children’s school papers

• System for keeping track of home information (warranties, operations manuals, room dimensions, carpet samples, etc.)

• System for family communication

• System for merchandise returns, errand-running

• System for weeding out no longer needed clothing

• System for filing and retrieving vital family records

 

I call this a ‘Home Systems Checklist’ and I give this checklist to new clients so they can evaluate and analyze their own household. 

 

So how about you? I invite you to use this list to do the same in your home. Also think about the supplies you need to establish these systems.

 

You too can get organized by thinking in systems.  I’d love to hear your feedback – please leave a comment about home systems that have worked well for you and if you can think of a system that I didn’t include. Also, if you’d like to hear more detail about any of these systems, leave a comment about your greatest challenge and I’ll do a future post about specific systems you want to learn more about.

 

I also invite you to visit The Simplified Home for many ready-made home organization systems and solutions so you don’t have to reinvent the wheel.

Originally posted 2008-10-24 21:27:45. Republished by Old Post Promoter